Friday, March 16, 2012

A Day Lived

Today was one of our Fabulous Fun Fridays. We've been trying this most Fridays since New Year's, and sometimes the Fridays really do turn out to be fabulously fun. And some do not. Today was one of the days where I really fought against the urge to just live in "survival mode", something that is becoming more and more of a habit for me. The difference was I had made promises, showed my hand a few days early. And wouldn't you know that kids have much better memories for things you tell them that you are going to do than they do for things you tell them to do.

So I drank coffee and pretended that I wasn't drained from a night of being awakened by both children at the end of a week of middle-of-the-night Mama calls, then created just a little bit of leprechaun mischief. We made shamrocks and read stories, talked about pots of gold, rainbows, and Ireland's green rolling hills. Rainbow cupcakes were made (more tedious than I realized), decorated, and consumed. There was worship with Matt Redman while I cleaned the kitchen. But the day wasn't perfect. Potty training accidents happened and there was a three-year-old covered in washable markers. There were sibling squabbles and forgotten dinner ingredients.

A lot happened, but the day was most definitely experienced and lived, and not one that I just "made it through". There's a part of me that feels like it has been hibernating these past few months. I hope that there are many more of these to come, that this marks an awakening in me.

Friday, March 02, 2012

It's been one of those days . . .

You know those days that you plan and replan just to get the most fun out of them, but they still just somehow seem to go horribly wrong? This has been one of those days. From running late and missing almost all of the story time that I've been talking up all week, to the two bloody five-year-old knees, to the three-year-old's forgotten elevator phobia, to the busted gallon of milk to the whiny children who just "have nothing to do" in their house chock full of toys and just want to go swimming on the second day of March, it has just been one of those days. And I look on this blog and see that it has apparently been one of those months, too, since I have been MIA since the end of January. I could add that to the guilt pile, but that would just be silly.

So I sit and wonder what decisions I could have made to make the day run more smoothly. And there are some things. I could have gone to the store last night instead of this morning. We could have skipped making the Cat in the Hat hats, but that was supposed to be part of the fun. I could have let them go swimming in the bathtub. But some of the things that happen, just simply happened due to no fault of my own. They just happened because that's how life is. I just need to learn to deal with it better. And to remember that there were several really good days this month and a trip to Kroger where I didn't have to make a single threat this week. We've had days full of watching birds pour into our backyard and squirrel turf wars that have had me doubled over laughing. I just have to put down the binoculars on days like today and look at not just today, but all the days around it. It really does all come down to gratitude, and whether or not I choose to do it. I have to get back out of survival mode . . . again and start living, knowing that days like today will still happen, but I can decide how to handle them and how to remember them.