Friday, June 10, 2011
The Eyes That Haunt My Heart
Earlier this week, a new face appeared on my Compassion International account. I have been logging in to my account daily because I had put in a request for my second correspondence child. The face I saw was Rugwiro from Rwanda. He will be 14 years old in August. For a week or two, I've been looking at the pictures of the kids who need sponsorship. I kept thinking that I wanted to find a boy, a little older (10-12) who lived with someone other than his parents, and maybe in Ghana. I couldn't sponsor right now, but I could look and pray. Hey, to date I've had three that I've prayed for who have been sponsored. I'm not going to stop asking Him now.
Then comes Rugwiro. He lives with his aunt and uncle (CI lists parents as separated by death). He is in the 4th grade (probably 5th now since his information was updated in 2010) and likes ball games, especially soccer. I chatted with a CI rep yesterday because I wanted to know if his financial sponsor sent a birthday gift. She said that a gift was sent and has been sent in the past, but he hasn't received a letter "in years". She didn't put a number on it, but in years definitely sounds like more than a few. He has had the same sponsor since 2004. His eyes do haunt me. They look tired and sad for a 13-year-old boy. He has seen far too much already in his young life - after-effects of genocide, being orphaned, poverty, and other things beyond my imagination. And for reasons I will never know, his sponsor, who has been financially dedicated for many years but has chosen to remain silent, has given permission for me to write to him. I am feeling the weight of this today. It doesn't feel like a burden, but a privilege. Still, it is a privilege that comes with great responsibility. I am nervous that I don't know what to do with a teenage boy. But I will love him, and he will hear (often) that I love him and that God loves him, too.