Pray for Rain

I walked through my yard this morning to put something in the mailbox. First, I was excited about the cooler temperature and being able to breathe the air, rather than chewing it. Then I noticed the crunching grass under my feet and remembered our lack of rain. Since August started I think we have had two light and short showers. My grass is brown and brittle . . . and ugly. It made me think back a couple of years, when Georgia and the surrounding states were in a severe drought. Most of what I noticed was increased water restrictions and a rise in food prices. But I didn't really feel the weight of a drought, other than a tighter budget. Living in the South, it seems like I've heard the word drought thrown around nearly every summer of my life.

I also started to remember the drought that is going on right now in East Africa. Other continents seem really far away until you put faces on them. Nigusse from Ethiopia and Rugwiro from Rwanda are my two small examples of a huge problem. These are faces on my refrigerator. They are also living, breathing children of God who are already living in extreme poverty. When you add a drought to extreme poverty, the results are catastrophic. It's hard to buy groceries in a drought when you're middle class, so think about how much harder it would be if your income was less than $1 a day. And if you're a farmer, you can't grow crops on parched earth.

The good news for Rugwiro and Nigusse is that they are "not located in the hardest-hit areas of drought, but are increasingly being impacted by food shortages, higher food prices and the influx of refugees into their areas due to the drought in neighboring nations." But this drought could eventually reach them. I'm asking you to pray. Pray for good rains to heal the land. Pray for the families, and especially the children, who are forced to live in these conditions. Pray for people to step up and give so that they can afford food. "Right now, in East Africa, an estimated 12 million people are suffering from malnutrition and a lack of food, affecting 35 to 40 percent of children under age 5." I also hope you'll visit this site and ask yourself what you can do to help. But even if you can't afford to help in a tangible way, please pray.

"Abba, I belong to you."

When I started the Daniel Fast this time it was in part motivated to get at the more spiritual side that I felt like I was lacking the first time around. I wanted to get more out of this than just a good diet plan and a reason to pine for sugar. I will confess that some days that's still all I have. However, I do have a plan and some days I'm even following it. I'm trying to stick to it a little better this this week, and be moI re mindful of Jesus than I am of my food choices. Which is hard, because I can look at the food in my hand, but I have to make the conscious choice to see God.

But this is the focus of my fast. I'm trying to keep up with my daily Bible reading, but I knew there was more to this than routine, as much as I love my routine. I did read most of the Daniel Fast book that I bought, and the author confirmed that. I had several books on my Kindle that I've been wanting to get around to, but I'm still in the middle of three others. I decided to read The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning. I knew it was about God's love for me and I thought that sounded like what I needed. After I started reading it, I decided to add in Song of Songs, so I'm reading a little out of each. Manning talks about a nun he encountered with a difficult and painful past. He encourages her to simply say, with her hands up, "Abba, I belong to You." for the next 30 days. Well, I added that, too. At first, it felt strange, but yesterday it came to my mind in very unexpected places and finally started to sink in. My plan is really just to take up residence in that reality for the next few weeks.

"The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice

He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice"
Abba, I belong to YOU!

Daniel Fast, Part 2

I started the Daniel Fast again today. I was thinking about starting anyway, and then there was an insert in our church bulletin about an organized fast this week, so I took it as the gentle push to go ahead. I'm thinking about doing 30 days instead of 21, for no real reason, except that I didn't really feel ready to be finished last time. I'm pretty excited about it, and Sonny was VERY willing to do it again. Also, I don't feel like 21 days would be a big sacrifice since I still eat Daniel Fast acceptable meals several days a week. I don't think I will have the sugar crash that I had the first time. I'm still sugar free or low sugar most days, but the sugar is slowly creeping back into my life.

Because I don't anticipate the horrible sugar withdrawals and because meal planning won't take as much effort since this is a second go-around, I do plan on focusing a lot more on the spiritual aspect of the fast. I'm not looking for this to be a diet, although I would be lying if I said one of my initial motivators was the bathing suit I will wear daily for a week in September. I don't know yet what this focus will look like, but I know that it needs to be more than just a short daily Bible reading and "standard" prayer time. I'm reading The Daniel Fast by Susan Gregory in hopes of gaining some ideas about what I need to be doing. Thanks to the church bulletin I mentioned, I do have some extra prayer ideas. I have issues mantaining focus. I'm always sure that "prone to wander" line was meant for me. Right now, I've let Kindergarten, a messy house, family illness, and busyness steal that focus. Seeking definitely requires focus, and this is the month that I get that back.

Today is the Day

Today is the day I will pick up some old habits. It's been a rocky week for Bible reading, and there's really no excuse for that. Today I will dive back into Psalms, and I will enjoy it. I always do when I make it a priority to find relative quiet and read the Word.

Today I will also restore some sort of order in this house. Even with the dishes done and laundry cycling, I just feel very out of rhythm. We were gone for only three days due to the air conditioner that called it quits, but those are typically my busiest three days. I can keep whining about it, or I can just be where I am and tackle one thing at a time. I made some headway yesterday, but not enough to make me feel like I finished anything. I will also unpack two boxes today. That's right, I'm still unpacking and I'm still moving boxes over here. Hopefully, I will finish that today, too.

Today I will also regain some patience with the girls. Yesterday was not good. I am not proud of my parenting, and it was more me than them. I lacked patience in teaching, and that can't go beyond yesterday. Today I will live out what I tell the girls. Today is a new day.  His mercies are new every morning. I should be thankful for that every day, but some days that blessing is a lot more obvious.

Heart Geography

Kayla asked me a few days ago where Rwanda is. For her, this is not a land of mass murder and political chaos. For her, Rwanda just means the home of her brother. I did not decide that this 13-year-old African man-child was her brother, that was all her. When Nigusse was added to our family a few weeks ago, she asked me, "Mama, how are you going to take care of all six of us?" Even for her, she was half-joking. Still, it's a lot of pieces for a heart to be split into, even though I do little to provide daily for our children who don't live in our house.

Time has changed for me. If I look at the clock at see that it's 2:00 p.m., that means it's nap time for my girls. I also have become aware that it is around lunch time for Yeimi in Guatemala. It's 2 a.m. for Lordylien in the Philippines, and I hope she is sleeping peacefully, resting up for a new day.  It is 8 p.m. in Rwanda and I hope that Rugwiro has had dinner and that he is safe and at home with his aunt and uncle. It's one hour later in Ethiopia and I pray that Nigusse is with his father and getting ready to go to whatever he sleeps on for a bed.

I'm not saying that I have these thoughts every hour. My heart and head don't stay in five countries for the bulk of the day. Mostly they come when there is temporary quiet and the littles aren't pulling on me. I know that part of what is going on is my overprotective nature. I have no control over what is going on in four pieces of my heart. I can try to imagine and research what to pray for them and let them know that I think the world of them. I can love on them the best way I can with oceans and continents between us, with stickers, coloring books, and sports cards. But I can't lay my hands on them the way I do with the two who live with me and I can't see that they are safe with my own eyes.

For some reason, I'm supposed to think that this divided heart of mine will actually help someone else want to feel this way, to sponsor their own child, and spend their thoughts and affection in other time zones. But I do ask that you pray and consider giving a piece of your heart to someone new, someone who needs your prayers, your encouragement, and a little of your money. At only $38 dollars a month, it's barely a meal for my household at Chili's. The link on the right will take you straight to Compassion's website where you can find the child you never knew you had. Or just ask me. I have pictures of two children who are waiting for someone to sponsor them. One precious little boy who has been waiting over six months. If you have questions, ask them. Don't let your questions paralyze you.

This Is the Day

A friend who is also new to homeschooling borrowed an idea from one of her boys' teachers to have a "morning meeting", where you lay out your plans and expectations for the day. I thought it was a great idea so I borrowed it from her. On the first day we started Kindergarten, I explained the idea of a morning meeting to Kayla and started telling her what we would be doing during school and after. Even though I didn't plan to, I found myself telling her that the best thing about morning is that it's a new day, made new and clean by God, without any mistakes or disappointments. "This Is the Day" had been rolling around in my head for a few days, and I still don't know why. I didn't plan to, but I taught it to them. Well, it stuck.

Now we do it every day, along with some variation on that same conversation we had the first day. She is talking about a new day even on days we don't have school, and I think she's starting to understand what I'm talking about. The more remarkable thing is that I'm beginning to see this idea seep into my own thick skull. Five-year-olds aren't the only ones who need a clean slate every morning. They also aren't the only ones who learn by repetition. Teaching is a tricky business.


"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

First Letters

I have always loved letters. For me, there is something so personal about seeing someone's hand-written words. It takes time and concentrated effort. Someone has to think about you while they are writing to you. They have to decide what information to share with you, and what words they will choose to share their thoughts. Maybe I'm the only person who feels this way, but I really doubt it.

Today, I received two letters. They were a complete surprise. Which is really strange because I've been waiting for at least one of them for over a month. But today when I walked to the mailbox, there was no anticipation. I had done a little guesswork math a few days ago and decided that a letter probably wouldn't come until August. However, I had done a little praying yesterday when I was disturbed by the first signs of waning passion. I had been waiting for one letter. The other one I was sure would take a few more months. I got them both, one from a fairly remote village in Guatemala and one from the largest city in the Philippines. I didn't even go into the house to read them. I sat in the back of the car and ripped them open, read them, gushed over them, and then I took them inside to read them to the girls and Sonny.

The first letter was from Lordylien, our 11-year-old from the Philippines. I got to learn the names and ages of her family members, her favorite things, and her future dreams (she wants to be a chef!). I also learned that she loves to dance and is in a dance group at school. My second letter is from the little girl chosen by Kayla, Yeimi. She is five-years-old and from a Mayan village in Guatemala. There was a small picture of her that I didn't expect. She's unbelievably precious. Since she is young, someone else wrote her letter. I learned that she has a younger brother. She said that she is very happy, that she loves us, and wants us to love her, too. As if I ever had any choice about that. My favorite part, though, was a small drawing of a house, the sun, and a flower, because that was all her and required no translator.

Passion crisis averted.

Meet Nigusse

Nigusse is the newest member of our family. He is 13-years old and from Ethiopia. The biggest thing I know about Nigusse so far is that he lives with his father; his mother is dead. Other than that, he sounds like a typical boy, into soccer, running, and playing other games with friends. He's an average student, but he's only in the 5th grade. Well, he's a typical boy who carries water to his home for his family and lives in an AIDS-ridden, impoverished country. But still a boy.

We are not financially supporting Nigusse (someone else is doing that), but we have been given the privilege of writing to him and praying for him. This is my second child who has lost parents in two months, both in African countries. They are both in their early teens, which seems to me to be an even harder time to be without parents. Letters and prayers don't seem to be enough, but they are what God and Compassion have given us to work with. So we will write, pray, and send all the goodies we can find. Now I'm really glad I bought all of those soccer cards.

Babble On

There's a lot rolling around in my head right now, and very little of it even goes together. Still, I feel like I'm losing momentum here, and I feel like putting anything in this little box will clear my head of this one need. Apparently my head is prime real estate right now, and there are a lot of competing thoughts.

We finished Day 4 of Kindergarten today. Kayla is loving it, but she says I'm making the Math too easy. I really hope she keeps finding it easy, but I doubt it. I'm also finding (well, remembering because I already knew) that she doesn't like correction at all. Apple = Kayla, Tree = Me I'm trying to come up with new ways to give feedback. "No" is definitely a four-letter word to her. However, she is still having a lot of fun and asks to start school in the morning. I also am trying to figure out other things for Lily to do while we're having school. She was purposefully disrupting today just to get my attention. We read and played later, but the coloring books that held her interest last week failed me during school today.

I had my first phone training as a Compassion Advocate last night. It was a lot of fun, but it let me know how much I still need to learn. I'm going to try to find an event to volunteer at over the next couple of months, since that was recommended by the trainer. There are also podcasted training sessions that I can listen to and other calls to sign up for. I now know more about malaria than I ever thought I needed to know.

And I'm really wondering if one-day fasts really are a little too easy. Today really hasn't been bad at all. I am hungry, that I don't deny, but not that hungry. I do find hunger pangs to be the best reminder to pray. I think it's something about having a perceived physical need. I will definitely be excited about my watermelon and waffles tonight, but it isn't as hard as it once was. I think next time I may need a full technology fast as well. I am far too easily distracted by the technology in my house. This is another reason I need to keep a dumb phone. I really can't afford to add another distraction.

And then there's bills, lowering bills, saving more, giving more, planning things to do with the kids, finding new things to send to my faraway kids, finding time to spend with Sonny, kids' songs that won't leave my head, the lack of time management skills I seem to possess, and, oh yeah, did I mention waffles? Oatmeal waffles to be exact. Topped with baked apples with a little date honey on the side. My brain is like a cartoon whirpool.

Wallflower

I have always struggled with the need for people to like me. I didn't necessarily want them to all call me friend, but I wanted them to like who I am. I don't remember a time when I didn't have that desire. What also comes with this is a desire to be understood, for my passions to matter to other people. When all of this is put together, it is easy to see why social media can be so toxic to someone like me. You think about your list of friends before you share links, concerned for who might be offended. You wonder if the same people who "like" cute pictures of your kids care if children are dying hourly from unclean water. You overthink everything you type, wondering if it will be misunderstood or if anybody outside a very small circle even cares.

The phrase "sphere of influence" has been rolling around in my brain a lot over the past month or so. Just the idea that there was supposed to be a group of individuals who are influenced by me. The idea has made me stumble a few times even in areas where I strongly feel called. I don't blame the small size of this group on anyone but myself. Wallflowers cannot try to blend in one moment and then cry about the injustice of not being noticed the next. Well, I guess they can, but the idea is ridiculous. And uncomfortable, because it means that if I am obedient, I stop trying to blend. If I am obedient, I stop trying to make everyone like me, and do what God tells me to do. If I am obedient, I stop questioning if anyone else even cares, and I present God's heart, despite my discomfort. If I am obedient, I serve God, and not people.

Personal History

For a long time, I have been working diligently to not be defined by my past. I have told myself certain things don't matter, stuff happens and can never be unchanged. I have ignored others parts of my history that I know do matter. I have given them to God and just asked him to help me forget a lot of who I've been and where I've come from. And then I usually take it back and wallow in it for a while, then go back to ignoring it before giving it to him again. Who doesn't have this baggage? I've never met anyone who made it out of childhood unscathed. But this attempt to strip away what was has robbed me of seeing a lot of what drives me.

I let myself take a step back and walked back through a lot of my life over this past month. And I did remember major events, both good and bad, but I also started remembering small things that built my personality and character. These were things like arguing the need to give money to panhandlers in downtown Macon, saving up pocket change for months for the MDA telethon, being moved to tears by racial injustice from the 1st grade on, asking for our youth group to do World Vision's 30 hour famine and loving raising money for it even as shy as I was, and wanting to work with foster children.

I'm sure several things contributed to my more jaded outlook after becoming an adult, but one of them was probably working within social services and feeling absolutely helpless. The biggest contributor had to be my failure to seek God during the time when I started ignoring this passion to help others. Forget the "with all your heart" part, I wasn't seeking Him at all. But without me even realizing it, He has been softening my heart this past year. There's less of a naivety than there once was, but still an idealist that sees that things don't always have to be as they are today. There are those who would still call me naive, but I'm liking this outlook a lot better. And I now see how interconnected my memories are, that even people I would rather forget helped shape who I am. I'm grateful that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him".

What Can I Do?

This morning I read the Compassion blog like I do most mornings. But this time, I recognized the city: Coban, Guatemala. What I know is that Coban is the nearest major city to my Yeimi. I didn't make it past drug trafficking before the helplessness set it. Why can't I stop her from being exposed to such things? I found myself wishing I could just take her, take all of them, out of their countries and bring them. Where? Here? Somewhere, I don't know. Just the idea of a sweet 5-year-old little girl getting caught in the middle of all of that led me into a dangerous game of "What If".

After a few minutes, my rational self kicked in. I heard, in my mind, "You are doing something to stop these things from happening." For all of my big talk about the importance of sponsorship and building relationships, when it really came down to the dangers my child faces, I didn't think it was enough. I'm not sure if I thought God was enough. In the few minutes that followed, I was able to see the flaws in my thinking and be grateful for the new knowledge about Yeimi's potential challenges. Knowing about this (and other details after I was able to go back and actually finish reading the post), gives me specific things to pray for and against. It shows me the importance of giving child gifts and family gifts to help meet their needs and encourage parents to keep their children in the program.

This weekend I plan on putting together a list of specific needs for all three of my Compassion kids based on their ages, interests, and geography. I will research the areas where they live through Compassion and other websites and present these needs to God often. I will also pray that He shows me what else I can do for each of them. He is enough. My helplessness does nothing but keep the focus on me and my feelings. When I do that there is no change, only sadness and guilt.

This morning I Had Cake

Yesterday was supposed to be my last fasting day. Due to unforeseen events (such as Cracker Barrel!), it was actually my first day off the fast. My plan was to have a very sensible dinner after that, but Sonny thought I was done and wanted to go to Mellow Mushroom and split a pizza. My body was not very happy. After the party on Saturday, I put a piece of cake in the refrigerator for today and decided to eat it this morning. It was very good, but I couldn't eat the buttercream icing. It was entirely too sweet. Even though I seriously fell off the wagon and onto my rear, I really haven't been incredibly tempted to eat the junk in my house. Less than I have this few weeks, actually. I think the fact that I can have it has made me want it less. Which seems odd and backwards for me. I just hope I can keep it up. Today there will be more foods containing sugar, and I will enjoy them. It's a big day for us, but I can also balance it out with some healthier foods.

My internet restriction and quieter days are not really happening. Yesterday we were gone all day, and today and tomorrow are promising busyness as well. I am still waiting on an email from the Advocate Network, so I am constantly checking my email. I do want to do this, but it seems like this is not the week for it. Maybe I can start on Thursday and go through next week. I don't just want to do this, I need to do this.

Fasting Update

We have now completed two weeks of the Daniel Fast. I feel like we're in the home stretch. Food choices don't seem that difficult most of the time. There was a doughnut incident that nearly did me in, but I made it through. What bothers me is that I have missed a lot of the spiritual component of the fast. There are days when I do better than I have in the recent past but on most days I'm just concentrating on the food. I almost feel like I should extend my fast, but I really don't want to do that to Sonny. What I have decided to do instead is to let next week be a very restrictive, but not complete, technology fast. I will use a lot of the time I waste on the computer and tv to refocus and regroup. I think I'll be spending a lot of nap times on my porch with my Bible.

This being said, I do not consider the Daniel Fast to be a waste or a bust for me. I think that in allowing my body to rid itself of all the junk I put into it, my brain is now ready to concentrate more. I hope this helps to keep me from being constantly distracted by all the shiny stuff around me. I can say with my mouth that Jesus is the only thing that matters, but the ways I spend my time show differently.

The Eyes That Haunt My Heart

Earlier this week, a new face appeared on my Compassion International account. I have been logging in to my account daily because I had put in a request for my second correspondence child. The face I saw was Rugwiro from Rwanda. He will be 14 years old in August. For a week or two, I've been looking at the pictures of the kids who need sponsorship. I kept thinking that I wanted to find a boy, a little older (10-12) who lived with someone other than his parents, and maybe in Ghana. I couldn't sponsor right now, but I could look and pray. Hey, to date I've had three that I've prayed for who have been sponsored. I'm not going to stop asking Him now.

Then comes Rugwiro. He lives with his aunt and uncle (CI lists parents as separated by death). He is in the 4th grade (probably 5th now since his information was updated in 2010) and likes ball games, especially soccer. I chatted with a CI rep yesterday because I wanted to know if his financial sponsor sent a birthday gift. She said that a gift was sent and has been sent in the past, but he hasn't received a letter "in years". She didn't put a number on it, but in years definitely sounds like more than a few. He has had the same sponsor since 2004. His eyes do haunt me. They look tired and sad for a 13-year-old boy. He has seen far too much already in his young life - after-effects of genocide, being orphaned, poverty, and other things beyond my imagination. And for reasons I will never know, his sponsor, who has been financially dedicated for many years but has chosen to remain silent, has given permission for me to write to him. I am feeling the weight of this today. It doesn't feel like a burden, but a privilege. Still, it is a privilege that comes with great responsibility. I am nervous that I don't know what to do with a teenage boy. But I will love him, and he will hear (often) that I love him and that God loves him, too.

This Feels Good. . . Really Good

At least, I feel really good. Sonny made the same comment last night and added that he would have to remember this when our fast is over. I'm not sure if it's the lack of sugar or chemical additives, but I have so much more energy than I remember having in a long time. A really long time. Next week I am going to start thinking and praying on what dietary changes I would like to keep. This feels way too nice to let it all go back to "normal". And I'm thinking that this is probably the way "normal" is supposed to feel.

I have not stopped craving sweets, and I will possibly race to Ryal's Bakery for a petifour when this is over. However, and I never saw myself saying this, it is quite possible than one will be enough. A few other observations:

• I have not yet missed meat of any kind
• Sonny really will eat whole wheat
• Perfect brown rice is elusive
• The moments where I miss cheese are fleeting.
• I am drawn to junk food out of convenience

I am going to get back to my to-do list, because even though it is mid-afternoon, I still have energy! Next up, a call to Compassion about my advocate application.

Ending Week 1 of the Daniel Fast

Finally, I am one week down on this three week partial fast. The weekend has been harder than the week with parents on both sides taking us out to eat and the suggestion for IHOP, of all places. I love IHOP. I love pancakes and all things carb-centered. Breads are definitely among my comfort foods. I did turn it down and let her just take the girls with her. I have very good mental taste buds. I can taste what I can see, smell, or even imagine. Those were the best pancakes ever made.

This week I will work on my focus. That's what this whole thing was supposed to be about in the first place. I am starting to feel better than I did when I started, and that is encouraging. So now comes the seeking part. This week I will seek to feel/know who I am as a child of God, who He is as my Father/King/Savior/Lord, and what He has put me here for. This will include some not-so-light reading. I will do my daily Bible reading, which I have been neglecting for several weeks. I've been reading the Bible, but just my weekly Disciple assignments. It will also include reading Colossians in depth since Mike is preaching on it this month. I will also the next several chapters in Chazown.

I also plan to get started on the final challenges from David Platt's Radical, especially the call to pray for every country in a year. Because of my Compassion connections, I will start with Guatemala and the Philippines. I'm not sure how I will proceed from there, but I am aiming to take one country a day, read about their needs, and pray for them. I will also be praying for our church, the leadership, and where God wants me to serve.

Somewhere in there I also plan to defeat laundry mountain and see the tops of my kitchen counters, but we'll see how that goes.

Surviving life without sugar

Today is Day 4 of my first Daniel Fast. I don't think I was thinking clearly enough to post yesterday. There were times when I had to isolate myself, I was just that short-tempered. All day I just felt like I was recovering from the flu, when there's no illness really but you're still worn down and sore. Needless to say, a trip to Wal-Mart was not the best idea, but a necessary evil. Kayla asked for a box of Nilla Wafers, and I willingly obliged. Then I opened the box and a burst a sweetness popped out when I opened the bag. I inhaled it, deeply. Maybe even a few times. I even considered eating one. Possibly even the entire box, packaging and all. But I didn't

Today is better. I'm still feeling tired, but at a much more manageable level. I've been able to interact with the kids a lot more, and I'm even pretty sure they know I love and like them. Tomorrow we go to the Dekalb Farmer's Market for the first time in a long while. That should make this process more palatable. However, I am enjoying my meals a lot. I really don't feel like I'm missing out on the meat. It's just the bread, pasta, and sweets that are nagging at me every time I walk into the kitchen.

One thing I am relearning and I want to put this out there for the next time I try this, smoothies are a very good thing. I didn't know they would be good without sweetened yogurt, but they are. And they are made even better by coconut milk. For breakfast, I threw a handful of almonds in the blender until they were ground. Then I added a handful each of frozen mango, cherries, and blueberries. I added a few splashes of coconut milk and orange juice. It made for a very yummy and filling breakfast.

Fasting and Seeking

Today is my second day on the Daniel Fast. It was a somewhat impulsive decision, made after I was trying and failing to curb unhealthy eating and added sugars. At the same time, I was also reading a few different books that had me all worked up but with no direction. This seemed like a good time to fast and seek God's face. All of that being said, at around 4:00 this afternoon, my brain turned into sugar-deprived mush, and my afternoon quiet reading time seemed quite pointless - and impossible. I think I'm just going to blog through this three weeks and see what happens. I'm excited, or at least I was, about the possibilities. I have been struggling with some hard questions about what God has for me to do, and I'm hoping that this short fast will help me find answers. Hoping that tomorrow will bring more complete thoughts.

Try, try again

I fear that I am a blogging failure. I have decided to try again, though, because I feel like it could be a very useful way for me to organize my thoughts and record goings-on in our family. I have always liked the idea of journaling, but I always, always lose them. This afternoon when I decided to take a peek at the last thing I wrote, I was a bit surprised that so much time had passed since my last entry. It doesn't feel like February was that long ago, but so much has happened since then. We are settled into our new house and officially finished with the school year. Lily is talking in full and increasingly complex sentences and even obeying every once in a while.

I have decided to blog with training wheels for a little while. I'll go easy on myself when I fail and enjoy the ride. I do like seeing thoughts go from idle brain ramblings to text on my screen. I think it might be good for my accountability.

Speaking of accountability (to myself), here are the things I want to accomplish this summer:

• Finish at least six books on my reading list
• Start school in July
• Pray more . . . and more consistently
• Plan fun, low cost things with the kids - The princess party was just too much fun.
• Organize my closet
• Organize the girls' dressers
• Finish daily to-do lists more often than not
• Go back to reading to the girls during lunch